After motherhood my life didn’t seem like my own. In reality I was too tired to bother about boundaries. I needed help from family and friends and slowly I traded my privacy for help. Privacy isn’t strictly physical boundaries. It also counts who’s opinions you let alter your life and how much say they have in your decisions. This is where healthy boundaries matter.
Many of us are familiar with the term but often interpret it as building protective walls around us to safeguard our emotions. It’s seldom practical and often ineffective to be rigid about boundaries like a wall. Boundaries are fluid.
How does healthy boundaries look ?
➡️ Sharing information about yourself appropriately. The internet/ (substitute here the person who gives you pain in the ass) neighbour doesn’t need to know how much screentime/ snacks you gave your child today. Don’t share what will bring you discomfort.
➡️ Understand your needs and wants and be confident to communicate them. If you are having a rough day talk to your husband about taking a day off from his work/ coming home early to relieve you.
If you want to go shopping that day request the grandparents if they can watch over your baby.
➡️ Value your own opinions. If you do not respect and express yourself with confidence how can you expect others to respect you?
➡️Self doubt is the biggest evil of all . Stop doubting if you made the right parenting decision each time. Your gut knows what your baby needs. Trust your instincts and for health related issues always refer to professionals and not Facebook groups.
➡️Accept when others say -No. This is our biggest foe. We want to win all our battles. This is impossible. Choose which of them you want to win and which you can afford to loose. Once you allow others their boundaries they will reward you with yours.
➡️Do not bring work home if possible. Or set strict hours of non-work related family time. Be device free and fully available and attentive to family. This applies to your spouse as well.
➡️Have help. It takes a village to parent. Do not expect yourself to fill all the shoes. It’s not less womanly to delegate household chores/ baby care.
Setting healthy boundaries can limit your body’s exposure to stress and harmful release of adrenaline and cortisol. This will preserve your mental health as well.
Setting boundaries will save you from Fatigue and Mom burn out. It definitely made me a happier mom and a better one. Mental health is as important as Physical health.
This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter‘