Nasty is the new nice : new moms guide to unwarranted advice

What’s wrong in being nice ? Nothing.
Only that it shouldn’t cross that yellow line to become people pleasing. That’s masochistic. This starts well before a woman attains motherhood. The conditioning starts much earlier. It is one of the main reasons our new moms are unhappy many a days.

Stop telling your teenager who slept in , what will your mother in law say one day.

Stop telling your girlchild that at this age I had two children look at you !

Stop telling young happy achieving women that they are any less because they haven’t found their mate yet or haven’t planned for a child.

Stop bringing up children ultimately to get them married. Marriage is much of an anticlimax to the image you guys portray in their minds. And parenting is not something the newly married couple should rush into without understanding each other’s expectations out of life.

As an Indian parent one might be conditioned to think of the society before oneself. That is the major reason of unhappiness in parenthood. Living a double life is never a solution.

It’s okay to say NO when you cannot. It’s not about you it’s about your new situation.
If someone is not okay with your NO it’s really their problem not yours .

The first few weeks are all about you and your child solely. Not about your parents or his and not even about the dad. If the family and friends do not understand this it’s totally their fault. There is nothing wrong with you being vocal about this.

Ground rules you must lay down as soon as you bring a newborn home

1. Visitors must call ahead before they come visit the baby and you.

2. Inform visitors that you cannot entertain them for more than 30mins

3. Ask them to leave the room when you breastfeed. Insist on your privacy and rights.

4. If you are uncomfortable with the way the newborn is handled be vocal about it.

5. Do not entertain visitors for any meal. Taking care of the baby is tiring enough we must not be expected to entertain as well.

6. Do not disturb your or your baby’s sleep cycle for visitors. Ask your family not to wake you up on account of anyone calling home.

7. You may insist them to wash their hands with soap and water venue carrying a new born. It is best they don’t carry them at all.

8 Do not let anyone with a cold to visit you or your baby. The baby’s immunity is very fragile.

It’s ok to be nasty to people who lack common sense. We try our best to be polite but it shouldn’t cost your peace of mind.

This post is written for #blogchattera2z challenge

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