‘A’ Day – It takes two to parent.

It takes two to parent!
What I am grateful for…

When Sey was born after 42 hours of labour I was exhausted. In fact I had closed my eyes for a minute to wake up after four hours. Then the baby was fed and my mother offered to take care of him in her arms. Mahi was with me inside the labour room all through was equally exhausted but he insisted he hold Sey instead. He held him for all of the two hours before it was time to try to feed him again. I couldn’t sleep much out of exhaustion I remember dozing and then waking up to see him walk the length of the room with the baby on his shoulders and then doze off again. Each time I woke he would still be holding Sey close to keep him warm. I remember the warmth I felt in my heart at that moment. It is the most precious feeling. The labour , the pain and the ordeal of motherhood that followed after was all worth it for that one moment.


In the first few weeks of bringing Sey home and struggling with latching the baby to the breast and general sleeplessness, Mahi always offered to hold him and rock him to sleep. His shoulders were Sey’s constant pillow come burp slab. Sey peed on his dad first before he tarnished any of us! ❤️
The Mr having to return to work was heartbreaking for us. I can surely say those were the 2 most pampered weeks of new motherhood. I wish this country realises the importance of paternity leave and the impact it can have on raising our future generation.

Especially when in many households the role of the father is a traditional breadwinner and disciplinarian. Unfortunately there is very less in the form of a bond between a new born child and the father. From the initial hesitation to carry the new born, to diapering solely being a mom-duty and giving them a bath being a martian task , father’s play a pathetic role in new parenthood.

Though the changing economic roles have impacted the image of fatherhood, the child is largely still dependent on the sensitivity of a mother to fulfil its emotional needs. The role of a father is very important for a child to develop positive psychological characteristics such as self esteem, coping with tasks and lower levels of depression as an adult.

Fatherly love helps children develop a sense of their place in the world, which helps their social, emotional and cognitive development and functioning. Moreover, children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle with behavioral or substance abuse problems.

It’s 2021, if the pandemic has taught us anything- it is time for the father to become a primary care giver. It takes two to parent

This blog post is written for the #blogchattera2z challenge

15 Comments Add yours

  1. Archana says:

    Reading this took me back to the days of my delivery period. How my husband took all the newborn’s responsibilities on his shoulder and that too so willingly, even though when my mom was also there, really touched my heart. The deeds of fathers are very less spoken, but the depth of their efforts is truly unmatched.

    Like

  2. Mayuri6 says:

    I wish more people, and more Dad’s, realize this important fact and support their wives at a time when a Mom needs all the help she can get. Such an insightful post.

    Like

  3. pythoroshan says:

    Lovely post. And I agree, the father has to play a bigger role than being a breadwinner to raise the child

    Like

  4. Wizardencil says:

    True that. It takes two to do the parenting right.

    Like

  5. Harjeet Kaur says:

    You are lucky your husband pitched in.I used to rock my son all night and watch my husband sleeping peacefully.There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child.

    Like

  6. Dr. Surbhi Prapanna says:

    very well said. it takes a village to raise a child and this journey could not be complete without father’s support. it is really good that things are changing in modern era and fathers are supporting equally in parenting journey.

    Like

  7. Such a heartfelt post. Things are changing for sure and for good. Both my daughters are very close to their father and that is because in their early childhood he was with them through out.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sharing the load is not only about household work but also about handling relationships! Your post has highlighted this aspect beautifully. I enjoyed thoroughly reading your post.

    Like

  9. Very true and an insightful post. More often than not the role of the father is more often than not, sidelined. Loved reading it.
    Deepika Sharma

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  10. This is a lovely post . Father has to play a bigger role to raise the child

    Like

  11. Amritha Srinath says:

    Well said Arul. It definitely takes two to parent. My husband is my pillar of strength and he has been an equal contributor to taking care of both my children. Even today, without him, I feel helpless in tending to both the kids. It’s high time we recognize the effort and importance of fathers are primary caregivers.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Navita Bhatia says:

    It’s such a great feeling seeing your partner sharing the responsibilities of parenthood. I can feel how dearly you hold the memories of those beautiful days close to your heart. I hope the wonderful message delivered by your post reaches many people so that the change that is already in progress gets the much-needed stimulation.

    Like

  13. This generation of kids are blessed to have dad’s who form the pillar of equal parenting

    Like

  14. It really takes two to parent.. of course mother’s role by default is more but that doesn’t mean father’s can’t help or contribute.. it’s the will that’s required first.. rest I think falls in place.

    Like

  15. Satabdi says:

    I know so many people who would benefit from reading this. Sharing this!

    Like

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