There comes a point in a girl’s life where she realizes that her soulmate, her better half the person who truly completes her doesn’t have to necessarily be her lover. No don’t get me wrong, I am not discussing same sex relationships but in fact loosely defining the word bitch to encompass both genders. 

 

Who is your bitch? 

Your 2 am phone call. The person who you would gladly let see the dripping mascara face. The one with whom you have truly no filter. 

They know your darkest secrets and probably helped you bury a few. They have held your hands during the sins and slightly enjoyed sinning with you ❤  

We are social animals.

Your Instagram may carry the most aesthetic click of a vegan salad but only she knows that you downed it with half a bottle of Baileys. She/he knows your other half.

It’s basically like the confessions of a catholic minus the guilt.

Everyone needs that person/people with whom they can be their truest self. Altruism causes more heart breaks than cheating on your spouse does.

At some level they are your moral, social and happiness compass and this is not just one sided. This symbiotic relationship is by far the most unsung in human history and friendship is a very loose term to define it. I would call it sisterhood but my bitch is a guy and with matters of the heart gender is never a defining factor. 

Earn them, value them and celebrate them.

There is an unwritten code that develops between you both, one that is most sacred and surpasses human laws. You need these people to survive not just the next decade but probably a couple more after that.

This was what your whole 20s should have been about- collecting your tribe and maturing enough to be true to them.  

Very few lucky ones are bound to their best friends even by the flesh. A perfect union of sorts of the heart and the body. I don’t believe in mixing this kind of love with sex (more on this in the following chapters). Am not saying dealings of the bedroom are dirty but in reality can one have their cake and eat it too ? 

Then there is the dallying case of Frenemies !! 

This oxymoron is the verbal actualization of a double-edged sword and the utangible tension that comprises this bond is what makes it super important in your 30s. They are the people you admire or are drawn to for some unimaginable reason but the very same that you also despise and are partly poisonous to your existence. 

When you enter into this decade appreciate the greys. You cannot throw everybody you don’t like out of your lives. It’s not practical and downright suicidal to do so. There are atleast some that you have to put up with for varying reasons. Top of my mind is, they may be your best friends lover/wife.  

How does this work then without ruining your peace of mind? 

Understand that they are both your ally and your competitor – there is no single box ! 

If at repeated situations their success is unnerving you and pushing you over the edge, step back and analyze do you hate them for who they are or is it a protective mechanism for your ego to project hate in order to cover your FOMO? 

Do we make frenemies only of people who we feel are at a upper hand/ better position/ equal position fro us, while we always fraternize the underdogs? 

Frenemies are always closer to us than we would like to accept. Someone who isn’t near you cannot hurt you. There you go- think how near you are letting them be. 

Use the anger for motivation. Every superhero requires an arch nemesis. There is no greatness without rivalry. Feed on it to step up and grow.